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  • JUST BE GLAD I'M NOT YOUR KID.
    $12.99
  • I'M NOT A STALKER. I'M JUST PERSISTENT.
    $12.99
  • YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID BUT YOU CAN VOTE IT OUT.
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  • WHEN I SNAP YOU'LL BE THE FIRST TO GO.
    $12.99
  • Who are all these kids... and why do they keep calling me "Mom"?
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  • I'M BETTER WHEN I'M DRUNK.
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  • PEOPLE SAY I HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE. I SAY FUCK'EM.
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  • BEHIND EVERY GREAT MAN IS A WOMAN ROLLING HER EYES.
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  • BITCH - Babe In Total Control of Herself.
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  • got me? I'll do your body good.
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  • i direct midget porn
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  • Deport Pedro
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  • MY DOG CAN KICK YOU DOG'S ASS.
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  • I HAVE ISSUES
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  • THIS IS THE EARLIEST I'VE EVER BEEN LATE!
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  • IF YOU DON'T TALK TO YOUR CAT ABOUT CATNIP, WHO WILL?
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  • If "Plan A" didn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters.
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  • The Nsa The Government Is Listening! Funny
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  • What do you call a nosy pepper?  JALAPENO BUSINESS!
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  • Guess What Day Christmas Is On Hump Day
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  • I THINK YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS CHEATING ON US.
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  • SO MANY CATS... SO FEW RECIPES
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  • YOU+ME=69
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  • IF CALCULUS WAS EASY, IT'D BE YOUR MOM.
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  • ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY TWO FRONTTH
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  • YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO WHAT I HAVE EARNED
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  • Chocoholic
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  • I'VE GOT MAD NINJA SKILLS.
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  • FEAR THE BASS PLAYER
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  • Resistance is not futile. It's voltage divided by current.
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  • BE KIND TO ANIMALS OR I'LL KILL YOU
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  • DON'T DRINK AND DRAFT
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  • DOES THIS MAKE ME LOOK RETIRED?
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  • Vodka is the answer to most questions.
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  • SOUP OF THE DAY... SCOTCH
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  • IN THE BEGINNING THERE WERE ONLY... 8 BITS
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  • I avoid cliches like the plague.
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  • SORRY, NOT SORRY
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  • Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.
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  • To save time later... let's just assume I know everything.
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  • Where clarinets go, treble follows.
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  • IT IS WHAT IT IS (UNLESS IT ISN'T)
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  • What do you mean? "YOU PEOPLE"
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  • THE MORE PEOPLE I MEET THE MORE I LIKE MY DOG.
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  • Live in mediocrity - where everything will be "ok".
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  • Don't want a sarcastic answer? Don't ask a stupid question.
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  • When work feels overwhelming, remember that you're going to die.
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  • I'm sarcastic, what's your super power?
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  • My Favorite Thing About Winter Is When It's Over.
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  • If The Lord Had Not Intended For Man To Eat Pussy He Wouldn't Have Made It Look So Much Like a Taco
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  • I'm So Good Santa Came Twice.
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  • An Awkward Morning Beats A Boring Night.
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  • A Girl's Gotta Do What A Girl's Gotta Do
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  • Anger Management Class Really Pisses Me Off
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  • You Can't Scare Me, I'm A Mom
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  • Bad Spellers Untie
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  • Real Women Drive Jeeps
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  • Real Men Drive Jeeps
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  • Got Cherokee?
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  • Got Jeep?
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  • If You Can't Do It In A Jeep, It's Not Worth Doing!
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  • I Work Well With Others As Long As They Leave Me Alone.
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  • Stop Complaining About Your Baby Daddy, You Picked Him!
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  • Ten Reasons To Be A Teacher... June, July, & August.
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  • Will Teach For Chocolate.
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  • The Dog Ate My Lesson Plan.
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  • World's Goodest Teacher.
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  • I'm A Teacher... What Is Your Superpower?
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  • Don't Make Me Use My Teacher Voice!
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  • Always Be Yourself. Unless You Can Be A Unicorn. Then Always Be A Unicorn.
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  • Let's Get Weird
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  • World's Tallest Leprechaun
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  • Isleep There's A Nap For That
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  • T-rex Wants A Hug
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  • All My Friends Are Dead Dinosaur
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  • If You Ever Get Sad Think Of A T-rex...
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  • Today Is My Hot Mess Day
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  • Trust Me. I'm A Liar
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  • W.i.f.e. Washing, Ironing, Fucking, Etc
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  • Sochi Olympic Ring Fail Funny
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  • Flappy Birds Never Forget
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  • I Need Head Funny
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  • High School Dropout
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  • Flappy Bird Champion
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  • T-rex Wants To Make A Wish
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  • Master Baiter
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  • My Pimp Hand Strong Power Glove
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  • I Love Nerds
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  • You've Cat To Be Kitten Me Right Meow
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  • End Gay Sex, Support Gay Marriage
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  • Unstoppable T-rex
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  • Zombie Apocalypse First Responders
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  • Sorry Ladies This Guy's Getting Married
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  • Sorry Fellas This Gal's Getting Married
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  • Groom - Under New Management
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  • Bride, I'm The Boss
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  • Wifey
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  • Dear Algebra...
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  • Don't Like Me?
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  • Science!
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  • Plan Ahead Funny
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  • Go F#ck Your #Selfie
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  • Man's Best Friend - Grill
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  • Never Underestimate The Power Of Stupid People
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  • Resistance Is Futile
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  • Don't Steal.  The Government Hates Competition
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  • Fuck Your Tits! Show Me Your Cunt!
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  • Single! Tonight Only! Funny
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  • Zombies Eat Brains.  So You Should Be Fine Funny Zombie
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  • Redneck Bachelorette Bash  Bachelorette Party
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  • I'm Smiling Because I Have No Idea What's Going On Funny
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  • I Don't Date Single Moms, I Make Them Funny
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  • You're More Of A Let Down Than Fruit Stripe Funny
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  • This Really Sucks Funny
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  • It's Ok If You Disagree With Me. I Can't Force You To Be Right! Funny
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  • Murica Patriotic
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  • World's Okayest Mom Funny
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  • Ah! The Element Of Surprise Funny
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  • Extreme Hunting Cool
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