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  • HOME IS WHERE THE WIFI CONNECTS AUTOMATICALLY
    $12.99
  • ALWAYS BE YOURSELF! UNLESS YOU CAN BE BATMAN. THEN ALWAYS BE BATMAN!
    $12.99
  • CONTENTS: 1x Human (may contain nuts)
    $12.99
  • I'm not lazy. I just really enjoy doing nothing.
    $12.99
  • I see no good reason to act my age.
    $12.99
  • What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
    $12.99
  • Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
    $12.99
  • I NEVER ARGUE, I JUST EXPLAIN WHY I'M RIGHT.
    $12.99
  • I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR MY BEHAVIOR TONIGHT.
    $12.99
  • HAVING A DIRTY MIND MAKES ORDINARY CONVERSATIONS MUCH MORE INTERESTING.
    $12.99
  • IF YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT YOURSELF... I'LL DO IT FOR YOU.
    $12.99
  • Why be difficult? With a little effort you can be impossible.
    $12.99
  • I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong.
    $12.99
  • ALCOHOL - BECAUSE NO GREAT STORY EVER STARTS WITH A SALAD.
    $12.99
  • I'M ACTUALLY NOT FUNNY, I'M JUST REALLY MEAN AND PEOPLE THINK I'M JOKING.
    $12.99
  • IF HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF, I AM SO GETTING A DINOSAUR.
    $12.99
  • I'D LOVE TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU, BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY CRAYONS
    $12.99
  • When I was a kid... No wait, I still do that.
    $12.99
  • I USED TO BE A PEOPLE PERSON... BUT PEOPLE RUINED THAT FOR ME.
    $12.99
  • PEOPLE KEEP THINKING THAT I CARE....WEIRD.
    $12.99
  • I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE OUT THERE CARES. I DON'T, BUT SOMEONE DOES.
    $12.99
  • IF I EVER HAD TO RUN FOR MY LIFE I WOULD PROBABLY DIE.
    $12.99
  • OF COURSE YOUR OPINION MATTERS... JUST NOT TO ME.
    $12.99
  • I DID NOT MEAN TO OFFEND YOU, THAT WAS JUST A BONUS
    $12.99
  • I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO PRETEND I LIKE YOU TODAY.
    $12.99
  • I'M ALWAYS DISAPPOINTED WHEN A LIAR'S PANTS DON'T ACTUALLY CATCH ON FIRE.
    $12.99
  • WHEN I WAS A KID I WANTED TO BE OLDER... THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED!
    $12.99
  • WELL, ANOTHER DAY HAS PASSED AND I DIDN'T USE ALGEBRA ONCE.
    $12.99
  • ALWAYS GIVE 100%, UNLESS YOU'RE DONATING BLOOD
    $12.99
  • "Trust me, you can dance." -Alcohol
    $12.99
  • CALM DOWN, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND HOLD IT FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES
    $12.99
  • I'm proficient in 3 languages... English, sarcasm & profanity.
    $12.99
  • I'M NOT GETTING OLDER, I'M JUST BECOMING A CLASSIC.
    $12.99
  • I feel sorry for people that don't know me.
    $12.99
  • PEOPLE THINK I'M TOO PATRONIZING. THAT MEANS I TALK DOWN TO PEOPLE.
    $12.99
  • I'M NOT BOSSY, I JUST KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING.
    $12.99
  • I'm not here to judge. I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making.
    $12.99
  • I'M AN ACQUIRED TASTE.
    $12.99
  • I UNDERSTAND. I JUST DON'T CARE!
    $12.99
  • I WAS GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD BUT THEN I SAW SOMETHING SHINY.
    $12.99
  • I FEEL VIOLATED... DO IT AGAIN.
    $12.99
  • We never really grow up. We only learn how to act in public.
    $12.99
  • LOSING FAITH IN HUMANITY. ONE PERSON AT A TIME.
    $12.99
  • MY AGE IS VERY INAPPROPRIATE FOR MY BEHAVIOR.
    $12.99
  • If it weren't for the gutter my mind would be homeless.
    $12.99
  • "A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have." -Thomas Jefferson
    $12.99
  • SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. THEY'RE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.
    $12.99
  • DEAR KARMA, I HAVE A LIST OF PEOPLE YOU MISSED.
    $12.99
  • I SHOULD COME WITH A WARNING LABEL.
    $12.99
  • I JUST WANT TO DRINK AND MAKE BAD CHOICES.
    $12.99
  • SARCASM - BECAUSE BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE IS ILLEGAL.
    $12.99
  • I LOVE THE SOUND YOU MAKE WHEN YOU SHUT UP.
    $12.99
  • IMMATURE: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
    $12.99
  • I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE STUPID. I'M JUST SAYING YOU HAVE BAD LUCK WHEN IT COMES TO THINKING.
    $12.99
  • DEAR OPTIMIST, PESSIMIST, AND REALIST, WHILE YOU GUYS WERE BUSY ARGUING ABOUT THE GLASS OF WATER, I DRINK IT. SINCERELY, THE OPPORTUNIST
    $12.99
  • I DON'T HAVE A BUCKET LIST BUT MY FUCKET LIST IS A MILE LONG.
    $12.99
  • SOME DAYS, IT'S JUST NOT WORTH CHEWING THROUGH THE RESTRAINTS.
    $12.99
  • MY GOAL IN LIFE IS TO HAVE A PSYCHIATRIC DISORDER NAMED AFTER ME.
    $12.99
  • I'M SMARTER THAN YOU'RE
    $12.99
  • LET'S NOT COMPLICATE THINGS WITH WORDS OR FEELINGS.
    $12.99
  • OF COURSE I TALK LIKE AN IDIOT. HOW ELSE COULD YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
    $12.99
  • CAN'T WAIT TO BE ASHAMED OF WHAT I DO THIS WEEKEND.
    $12.99
  • I'M SORRY I HURT YOUR FEELINGS WHEN I CALLED YOU STUPID. I REALLY THOUGHT YOU ALREADY KNEW.
    $12.99
  • I HAVE SEXDAILY. I MEAN DYSLEXIA!
    $12.99
  • I'M NOT WEIRD. I'M LIMITED EDITION.
    $12.99
  • PRETENDING TO BE A MATURE ADULT IS SO EXHAUSTING.
    $12.99
  • ORGANIZED PEOPLE ARE JUST TOO LAZY TO LOOK FOR THINGS.
    $12.99
  • NATIONAL SARCASM SOCIETY - LIKE WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT!
    $12.99
  • THINK I'M SARCASTIC? WATCH ME PRETEND TO CARE.
    $12.99
  • I'M NOT INSULTING YOU. I'M DESCRIBING YOU.
    $12.99
  • SARCASM: THE BODY'S NATURAL DEFENSE AGAINST STUPIDITY.
    $12.99
  • I'M FAIRLY CERTAIN "YOLO" IS "CARPE DIEM" FOR STUPID PEOPLE.
    $12.99
  • I'M NOT ANTI-SOCIAL. I'M ANTI-STUPID!
    $12.99
  • MOSTLY, I JUST SIT AROUND BEING FANTASTIC ALL DAY.
    $12.99
  • I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT...AWESOME ENDS WITH "ME" & UGLY STARTS WITH "U".
    $12.99
  • THE FIRST 40 YEARS OF CHILDHOOD ARE ALWAYS THE HARDEST!
    $12.99
  • I'M ALLERGIC TO STUPIDITY, SO I BREAK OUT IN SARCASM.
    $12.99
  • NATIONAL APATHY SOCIETY. BECOME A MEMBER... OR DON'T. WE COULDN'T CARE LESS.
    $12.99
  • I USED TO BE AN ADVENTURER LIKE YOU, BUT THEN I TOOK AN ARROW IN THE KNEE
    $12.99
  • I'M NOT SICK, I'M TWISTED. SICK MAKES IT SOUND LIKE THERE'S A CURE!
    $12.99
  • I'M TAKING CARE OF MY PROCRASTINATION ISSUES... JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE.
    $12.99
  • COMMON SENSE IS LIKE DEODORANT. THE PEOPLE WHO NEED IT MOST NEVER USE IT.
    $12.99
  • I TOOK A PAIN PILL... WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?
    $12.99
  • IF YOU'RE CRAZY AND YOU KNOW IT SHAKE YOUR MEDS.
    $12.99
  • IT'S NOT THAT I'M IMMATURE. IT'S JUST THAT YOU STARTED IT.
    $12.99
  • Words cannot express how much I don't care.
    $12.99
  • GRAMMAR: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FEELING YOUR NUTS AND FEELING YOU'RE NUTS.
    $12.99
  • IF YOU CAN'T SAY SOMETHING NICE, SAY SOMETHING WITTY & SARCASTIC.
    $12.99
  • IF YOU'RE THIS CLOSE ALREADY... WE MIGHT AS WELL MAKE OUT.
    $12.99
  • WARNING! YOU CAN GO BLIND FROM MY PURE AWESOMENESS!
    $12.99
  • I'M A LOVER NOT A FIGHTER. UNLESS YOU LIKE IT ROUGH.
    $12.99
  • EXAGGERATORS ANONYMOUS - A TRILLION STRONG AND GROWING.
    $12.99
  • I'M STARTING TO THINK I'LL NEVER BE OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER.
    $12.99
  • I'D LIKE TO OFFER MORAL SUPPORT, BUT, I HAVE QUESTIONABLE MORALS.
    $12.99
  • IF YOU ASK ME TO HOLD YOUR DRINK, I WILL DRINK IT.
    $12.99
  • YES, I'M EVIL... BUT IT'S THE FUN KIND OF EVIL.
    $12.99
  • MY BRAIN IS GIVING ME THE SILENT TREATMENT TODAY.
    $12.99
  • selective listener
    $12.99
  • I'm not lazy. I'm physically conservative.
    $12.99
  • Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
    $12.99
  • YOU COULDN'T HANDLE ME EVEN IF I CAME WITH INSTRUCTIONS.
    $12.99
  • MY DREAM JOB WOULD BE DRIVING THE KARMA BUS.
    $12.99
  • I'M NOT STUBBORN. MY WAY IS JUST BETTER.
    $12.99
  • A.A.A.A.A. AMERICAN ASSOCIATION AGAINST ACRONYM ABUSE.
    $12.99
  • LAZY PEOPLE FACT #987236762673 - YOU WERE TOO LAZY TO READ THAT NUMBER
    $12.99
  • MY LEVEL OF MATURITY CHANGES DEPENDING ON WHO I'M WITH.
    $12.99
  • KEEP IT UP. YOU'RE GONNA LOSE.
    $12.99
  • I'M KIND OF SURPRISED I'M NOT AN ACTION FIGURE BY NOW.
    $12.99
  • Things to do today: 1. wake up 2. survive 3. go back to sleep
    $12.99
  • WHEN I'M GOOD I'M VERY GOOD, BUT WHEN I'M BAD, I'M EVEN BETTER.
    $12.99
  • LIFE IS THAT AWKWARD MOMENT BETWEEN YOUR BIRTH AND DEATH.
    $12.99
  • I'LL HAVE WHAT CHARLIE'S HAVING.
    $12.99
  • HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED IF THERE WAS MORE TO LIFE, OTHER THAN BEING REALLY, REALLY, RIDICULOUSLY GOOD LOOKING?
    $12.99
  • YOU CAN'T PROCESS ME WITH A NORMAL BRAIN.
    $12.99
  • I COULD EXPLAIN IT TO YOU, BUT YOUR BRAIN WOULD EXPLODE.
    $12.99
  • I'M NOT OLD, JUST DELIGHTFULLY RETRO.
    $12.99
  • I'M SO OLD... I CAN COUGH, FART, SNEEZE AND PEE ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
    $12.99
  • OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY, I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME!
    $12.99
  • I'D BE UNSTOPPABLE IF NOT FOR LAW ENFORCEMENT AND PHYSICS.
    $12.99
  • NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF STUPID PEOPLE IN LARGE GROUPS.
    $12.99
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